I know no-one’s gonna read this, but whatever. I need to get it off my chest…
While you’re reading this, if indeed you are reading this, I want you to keep in mind that I’m not “fat”. I’m not overweight in the slightest, and I know this. I’m a size 12, and there are plenty of people who are bigger than me.
But I hate my stomach.
I hate looking at it when I’m wearing nothing but my bra and underwear, or if I’m wearing a bikini. I can see a little bulge, and I hate it. I hate bending over, and seeing the rolls. I hate wearing jeans with tight shirts, because I’m conscious of my stomach. I went bra shopping a little while ago and lost all self-esteem I had built up because my stomach was spilling over the jeans I was wearing.
What’s more, is that I can’t seem to lose the small amount of weight that’s annoying me. I’m not a total slob. I walk around where I can, I go to dance class twice a week and I’ve begun to replace the KFC with the Subway, something slightly healthier. But then I go home and I pig out on chips and biscuts and junk food, and wonder why I don’t have the body that I want.
The thing I hate the most? I hate society and media for making me hate my body. Everywhere I look there are pictures of gorgeous girls with perfectly flat stomachs, and people who say that they are absolute perfection. Well I’m not like that, I don’t look like that, so what does that make me? Don’t get me wrong, I have a boyfriend who thinks the absolute world of me, and tells me daily that I’m beautiful, and I believe it for a little while. But then I see myself, and lose all the confidence he’s given me.
I don’t want to starve myself. I don’t want to stop eating. I don’t want to take pills or throw up my food or do anything to lose weight drastically. I just want to feel good about myself. I want society to make me, and other girls and guys like me for that matter, feel good about myself. I want to see larger girls posted on here, with the comments that the stick-thin models get. You don’t see size 12, or 16 models on the runways here in Australia.
Tell me I’m wrong. Search for something like “perfection” or “beauty” in the tags and tell me I’m as pretty or as thin as the girls that come up. Because I know I’m not…